Time to Reboot

You see, I've always wanted to make movies. Actually, most of my memorable moments in life, especially related to my background and family, have been associated with movies. Even through my pre pubescent days, I would dream about being either a hero or a villain in a movie and would secretly, in my dark and twisted mind, make my very own brand of movies and call them 'my dreams'. Pretty twisted for a young kid.

If you fastly fast forward to today, much of that dream seems distant. I work to earn a living, I sleep to let my body heal, I eat to fill my stomach, I survive. But I'm still not living.

After many weeks of intense thought, I've realized that though I am multi-talented, I am incapable of multi-tasking. I could do no more than 2 things at a time. However painful it is to admit it, it's true. I work every day from 10 in the morning to almost 8 or 9 each day. Obviously, it's hard to focus on much else post this time. Though I've always been a night person, my job demands that my most productive time falls during the day. It has taken me 10 months to tweak my lifestyle accordingly and I've gotten somewhere with that. One of the side-effects of the tweaking, though, is that I hardly find time or even make the time to work on some of my older ideas or incomplete scripts. I don't even get to read much on cinema nowadays because...........just......


Now that the weak link has been established, let's look at the bright side. I'm not too keen on earning big and making it as a rich and famous person. I was born in a farmer's family, and I am absolutely okay with farming for the rest of my life, as long as I have conviction in what I'm doing. I plan to take off on a pilgrimage of sorts. I say pilgrimage because I intend to do more soul searching than have 'fun'. I need to pull out of the daily mayhem and ask myself and the world a few questions. I feel the need to progress through levels of existence, I do. I don't really know how clearly I understand these concepts, but I want to. I want to weed out the grossness of my existence and grow the saplings of my inner being. I do intend to get back home after that, and explore more movie-making, PR, etc. I really want to be me, the unabashed, brash and cocky movie-maker who sleeps days and works nights; drinks coffee for breakfast and tea for dinner.

Some of the things that I expect and even look forward to: Random people giving me pearls on how I should lead my life and me rebuking them outright. Folks going paranoid over a talented working boy who had finally realized his responsibilities as a good societal being suddenly going back to his nameless and aimless ways. GAAAAH!I LOVE BEING A REBEL!! :-)

There's a lot to be undone and done in the next six months or so.............